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I Feel No Sexual Attraction to My Husband But I Love Him!

Sexual attraction plays a significant role in overall satisfaction and fulfillment within a romantic relationship. It means being sexually attracted to someone and desiring to engage in physical intimacy with this person based on their physical appearance, energy, and overall personality.

This element of attraction is not solely about physical appearance but encompasses an individual’s overall appeal and charisma.

It is important to note that sexual attraction can vary greatly among individuals, as everyone has unique preferences and desires.

When there is a lack of sexual attraction in a long-term relationship, it can impact the couple’s physical and emotional intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction.

Key Takeaways

  • Fading attraction in long-term relationships is common but can be addressed through open communication, quality time together, and focusing on the positives.
  • Lack of emotional and physical intimacy stems from issues like routine, unresolved conflicts, and poor communication.
  • Active listening, empathy, compromise, and fun can improve emotional connection and reignite chemistry.
  • Individual and couples counseling provide productive support in exploring reasons behind waning attraction.
  • Conveying appreciation for your partner’s strengths cultivates intimacy beyond just physical attachment.
  • Reigniting attraction requires mutual understanding, effort, and commitment to thoughtful relationship maintenance.

Why Sexual Attraction to Your Husband Matters

Lack of sexual attraction in a marriage is a substantial issue that can significantly impact the overall relationship satisfaction and emotional connection between partners.

It is essential to address this matter because physical intimacy is a crucial component of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

When one partner is not sexually attracted to the other, it can lead to feelings of rejection, resentment, and even low self-esteem.

The lack of sexual desire may cause a rift in the relationship, as it may be interpreted as a lack of interest or connection on a deeper level.

Furthermore, physical intimacy is not only about sexual satisfaction but also about creating a sense of emotional closeness and bonding in a relationship.

It strengthens the emotional connection between partners and fosters a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another.

By addressing the issue of lack of sexual attraction, couples have the opportunity to improve their intimacy and strengthen their bond.

Seeking the help of a relationship expert or therapist can provide guidance and support in understanding and resolving the underlying causes of this attraction deficit.

This process may involve exploring communication patterns, identifying any underlying health issues or psychological factors, and finding ways to rekindle desire and intimacy in the relationship.

Ultimately, addressing the issue of lack of sexual attraction can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship. This allows both partners to experience a deeper emotional connection and establish a stronger bond built on trust, understanding, and intimacy.

Reasons You Feel No Sexual Attraction to Your Husband

There can be several reasons for the lack of sexual attraction within a relationship. Understanding these reasons is crucial in addressing and resolving the issue.

By identifying and acknowledging the factors contributing to the lack of sexual attraction, couples can work towards rebuilding intimacy and creating a stronger bond.

In this article, we will explore some common reasons for the absence of sexual attraction and discuss potential solutions that can help reignite desire and improve the overall quality of the relationship.

Physical and Mental Health Issues Can Cause Loss of Sexual Attraction

Physical and mental health problems, such as chronic illness, medication side effects, hormonal imbalances, stress, or depression, can affect a person’s libido and sexual desire.

Addressing these health issues through proper medical treatment and seeking professional help can play a crucial role in restoring sexual attraction and intimacy.

Communication and Emotional Intimacy Can Impede Sexual Attraction

man hugging woman near mountain. Rekindle sexual attraction, be sexually attracted to each other as a way to build physical intimacy.

Honest and open communication is vital in any relationship, including addressing concerns and desires in the bedroom.

Lack of effective communication or unresolved emotional issues can create a distance between partners and diminish sexual attraction.

Cultivating emotional intimacy through quality time, shared experiences, and exploring each other’s emotional needs can help bridge this gap and reignite passion.

Relationship Dynamics and Routine

Over time, the routine and familiarity of a long-term relationship can dampen the excitement and novelty that initially fueled sexual attraction.

Engaging in new activities together, spicing up the sex life, and making an effort to maintain a sense of adventure and variety can rekindle desire and reignite the passion within the relationship.

Psychological Factors and Past Trauma Can Hinder Sexual Attraction

Past trauma, such as sexual assault or unresolved issues from previous relationships, can affect one’s ability to feel sexually attracted.

Working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and relationship issues can help individuals and couples navigate these challenges. It can heal emotional wounds and rebuild trust and sexual desire.

Low Self-Esteem and Body Image Issues Can Lower Sexual Attraction

Low self-esteem and body image issues can have a significant impact on sexual attraction in the context of a marriage. These issues can manifest in various ways and have both emotional and physical effects on the individual.

One possible cause of low self-esteem and negative body image is societal pressure and unrealistic beauty standards.

Constant exposure to media images and ideals of beauty can lead individuals to compare themselves unfavorably and feel inadequate. This can then translate into a decrease in self-confidence and overall attractiveness.

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When someone has low self-esteem and poor body image, they may feel insecure about their appearance, including during intimate moments with their spouse.

This can result in a lack of willingness or desire to engage in physical intimacy, leading to a decline in the couple’s sexual connection.

The impact of low self-esteem on physical intimacy can strain the relationship further. The individual may fear judgment or rejection from their partner, causing them to withdraw or avoid intimate situations altogether.

This can create frustration and a sense of disconnect between the couple, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and emotional distance.

Insecurity about one’s physical appearance or low self-esteem can greatly impact sexual attraction and desire.

Cultivating self-love, practicing positive body image, and engaging in self-care activities can boost confidence and enhance sexual attractiveness to oneself and one’s partner.

Addressing low self-esteem and body image issues is crucial for enhancing sexual attraction within the marriage.

This may involve seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to work through these concerns and rebuild self-confidence.

Additionally, open and supportive communication between partners can play a vital role in addressing these issues and creating a safe and nurturing environment for both emotional and physical intimacy.

Changes in Physical Appearance Affects Sexual Attraction

Changes in physical appearance can significantly impact the level of sexual attraction within a relationship. Factors such as weight gain, weight loss, aging, personal grooming, and overall health can all play a role in this regard.

Weight gain or loss can alter one’s physical appearance and potentially affect how they perceive themselves and how their partner perceives them.

Excessive weight gain may lead to a decrease in self-confidence and body image issues, which can diminish sexual attraction. On the other hand, significant weight loss may also result in changes in appearance that can affect one’s attractiveness to their partner.

Aging is a natural process that can bring about physical changes such as wrinkles, grey hair, and a decrease in physical fitness.

These changes can impact self-esteem and how one feels about their attractiveness. It is important to remember that beauty and attractiveness come in many forms and can still be maintained as one ages.

Personal grooming habits also play a role in physical appearance. Neglecting personal grooming, such as poor hygiene or lack of attention to grooming routines, can potentially decrease sexual attraction.

Taking care of oneself and maintaining good grooming habits can contribute to feeling more confident and appealing to a partner.

Overall health is another crucial aspect of physical appearance that can impact sexual attraction.

Chronic health issues or unhealthy lifestyle habits may result in changes in physical appearance and can affect one’s overall well-being and attractiveness.

Individuals need to prioritize self-care, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and communicate openly with their partners about any concerns or insecurities they may have regarding their physical appearance.

Stressful Life Events

woman in pink sweater standing near white wall. Rekindle sexual attraction, be sexually attracted to each other or build physical intimacy

Stressful life events can have a significant impact on sexual attraction in marriage. Chronic stress, in particular, can lead to a decrease in sexual desire and affect mood, ultimately affecting the couple’s physical intimacy.

When individuals are under chronic stress, their bodies release high levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.

This hormonal imbalance can diminish sexual desire and dampen the mood, making it difficult for partners to feel sexually attracted to each other.

Moreover, constant stress can lead to exhaustion and mental fatigue, leaving little energy or desire for physical intimacy.

To strengthen the physical attraction between partners amidst stressful life events, it is important to prioritize emotional security and quality time.

By fostering emotional security, couples can create a safe and trusting environment, allowing both partners to feel comfortable expressing their desires and needs. This emotional connection can reignite the flame of physical attraction.

Additionally, setting aside quality time for each other is crucial. Despite the demands of work and personal life, carving out dedicated time for intimacy can help counterbalance the effects of chronic stress.

Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and pleasure, such as going on romantic dates, cuddling, or practicing mindfulness together, can enhance the physical attraction between partners.

For example, an imbalance in work-life significantly impacts intimacy. When one partner is constantly overwhelmed with work responsibilities and stress, it can leave little time or energy for sexual intimacy.

This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, further diminishing the physical attraction within the relationship.

Chronic stress can detrimentally impact sexual desire and mood within a marriage.

Prioritizing emotional security and quality time, despite stressful life events, can help strengthen the physical attraction between partners and maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Conflict and Disagreements

Conflict and disagreements can have a significant impact on sexual attraction in a relationship.

Constant fighting and unresolved issues can create a negative and hostile environment, leading to a decline in sexual desire between partners.

When conflicts are not effectively resolved, they can cause emotional distance and resentment, making it difficult for partners to feel sexually attracted to each other.

There are various reasons for conflict within a relationship, including communication breakdowns, differences in values or expectations, and busy schedules.

Communication breakdowns, such as misunderstandings or a lack of effective communication, can lead to disagreements and frustration.

When both partners are caught up in hectic schedules, they may not have quality time together leading to feelings of disconnect and sexual dissatisfaction.

To maintain healthy sexual attraction in a relationship, it is essential to prioritize positive interactions and create a ratio of positive to negative interactions.

The Gottman Institute, a renowned relationship research center, suggests that a ratio of at least five positive interactions to one negative interaction is crucial for relationship satisfaction.

By engaging in positive interactions, such as expressing gratitude, showing affection, and engaging in shared activities, couples can foster positive feelings and create a more harmonious and attractive relationship.

Conflict and constant fighting can be harmful to sexual attraction within a relationship.

It is important to address and resolve conflicts effectively, prioritize effective communication, and create a positive and supportive environment to maintain a strong sexual connection between partners.

Unmet Needs or Expectations Can Hinder Physical Attraction


Unmet needs and expectations can significantly impact the level of sexual attraction within a relationship. When one or both partners feel that their desires are not being fulfilled, it can result in a lack of attraction and intimacy.

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Couples need to communicate openly and honestly about their personal needs and expectations.

By expressing these desires, couples can work together to find ways to meet them and enhance their sexual connection. Without effective communication, unmet needs can lead to dissatisfaction and distance in the relationship.

When needs go unmet, individuals may feel neglected or unfulfilled, causing a decline in sexual attraction. This can create a cycle of discontentment, as the lack of attraction further hinders the ability to meet each other’s needs.

To address unmet needs, couples should prioritize open and respectful communication, actively listen to each other, and find compromises that honor both partners’ desires.

Regular check-ins about sexual satisfaction and desires can help create a safe space for expressing needs and finding ways to fulfill them.

By addressing and meeting each other’s needs, couples can foster a stronger sexual attraction and maintain a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

Remember, communication is key in recognizing, understanding, and addressing unmet needs so that both partners can feel desired and fulfilled in their relationship.

Power Imbalance in the Relationship Can Lessen Sexual Attraction

The power imbalance in a relationship refers to an unequal distribution of power and control between partners, which can contribute to a lack of sexual attraction.

When one partner holds more power and control than the other, it can create resentment, dissatisfaction, and an overall imbalance within the relationship.

One example of a power imbalance is financial control, where one partner holds all the financial resources and makes decisions without consulting the other.

This can lead to feelings of powerlessness and dependency on the dominant partner, which can negatively affect the overall attraction and intimacy in the relationship.

Another example is decision-making domination, where one partner consistently makes decisions without considering the input or desires of the other.

This can result in the disempowered partner feeling unheard, unimportant, and ultimately lacking attraction towards their spouse.

Emotional manipulation is another power imbalance that can impact sexual attraction. When one partner manipulates the emotions and behaviors of the other for their benefit, it erodes trust and creates a sense of imbalance in the relationship.

The disempowered partner may feel emotionally drained and disconnected, leading to a decline in their sexual desire for their spouse.

Power imbalances can significantly impact intimacy and attraction in a relationship. When one partner feels dominated or overpowered, it can lead to feelings of resentment, dissatisfaction, and a lack of balance.

This can create a disconnect between the couple, affecting their emotional and physical connection.

Addressing and correcting power imbalances through open communication, shared decision-making, and equal distribution of power can help restore attraction and strengthen the overall relationship.

Emotional Distance or Withdrawal Can Be Caused by Loss of Physical Attraction

man in orange long sleeve shirt sitting on gray couch, trying to overcome dating anxiety which hinders sexual attraction rekindle romance to be sexually attracted to each other and build physical intimacy.

Emotional distance or withdrawal can have a significant impact on a relationship, especially when it comes to physical attraction and sexual intimacy.

When partners feel emotionally distant from each other, it can create a sense of disconnection and make it difficult to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

One of the primary reasons for emotional distance is a lack of effective communication.

Couples may find themselves not sharing their thoughts, feelings, or vulnerabilities, leading to misunderstandings and a growing emotional gap.

To address this issue, it is crucial to cultivate open and honest communication. Active listening, where both partners genuinely listen to each other’s perspectives without judgment, can foster understanding and empathy.

Expressing vulnerabilities is another essential aspect of bridging the emotional gap. This means being able to share fears, insecurities, and deeper emotions with each other.

When partners feel safe and supported in expressing themselves authentically, it creates emotional intimacy and strengthens the connection.

Engaging in shared activities can also help bridge the emotional gap. By spending quality time together, they can build shared experiences and strengthen their emotional bond.

It is important to remember that addressing emotional distance takes time and effort from both partners.

Seeking the help of a relationship therapist can be beneficial in navigating through these challenges and building a stronger emotional connection, which in turn can reignite physical attraction and enhance sexual intimacy within the relationship.

Steps to Improve Sexual Attraction

When a lack of sexual attraction towards a spouse becomes a concern in a long-term relationship, it is important to address the issue to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

First, open and honest communication is vital.

Couples should create a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings about their sexual desires and needs. This can help both partners understand each other better and work towards finding solutions.

Additionally, exploring non-sexual forms of intimacy, such as emotional and experiential connections, can contribute to a deeper bond between partners.

Engaging in shared activities, spending quality time together, and actively working on cultivating emotional closeness can help improve the overall relationship and potentially reignite the spark of physical attraction.

Seeking guidance from a relationship expert or couples therapist may also provide valuable insights and strategies to address the issue effectively.

By taking these steps, couples can navigate the challenges and work towards a healthier and more satisfying sexual relationship.

Communicate Honestly About Why You Don’t Feel Sexually Attracted to Him

Openly communicating about feelings and needs is an essential first step in addressing issues of sexual attraction within a marriage.

While it can feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to initiate these conversations, honest and transparent discussions are key to finding solutions. Here are some steps to open up communication with your husband:

    • Initiate the conversation in a calm, neutral setting. Avoid criticism. Use “I feel…” statements to express how the lack of sexual attraction makes you feel. Be specific about your needs and desires.
    • Ask open-ended questions to understand his perspective. Listen without judgment. Use phrases like “Help me understand…” or “What do you think about…?”. Allow him space to share freely.
    • Practice active listening. Let him know you are listening by paraphrasing, reflecting on feelings, and asking clarifying questions. Avoid interrupting.
    • Share suggestions for improving intimacy that honor both your needs. Collaborate to find mutually satisfying solutions.
    • Express gratitude when your husband shares vulnerable feelings. Thank him for being open. Point out areas of common ground.
    • Agree to revisit the issue regularly to check in. Work as a team to maintain open communication and continually improve your sexual relationship.
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Communicate as relationship expert John Gottman recommends.

Clearly expressing wants, responding with curiosity, and showing appreciation for your partner’s honesty is key to discussions about difficult topics like sexual attraction.

With compassionate listening, collaboration, and commitment to honest communication, you can navigate this challenge together.

Acknowledge Each Other’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Man and Woman Holding Hands as a way to rekindle sexual attraction, be sexually attracted to each other or build physical intimacy
<span style=font size 16px><br >When facing challenges like sexual dissatisfaction in a marriage it is important to build emotional intimacy by acknowledging one anothers positive qualities along with areas for growth<span>

Recognizing each other’s strengths shows appreciation and can enhance feelings of connection.

  • Compliment your husband’s admirable traits and abilities, even in non-sexual contexts. For example, praise his kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, parenting skills, or talents.
  • Discuss your respective strengths and how those qualities initially attracted you to each other. Reminisce fondly over shared memories.
  • Find ways to encourage each other to utilize strengths. Motivate and support your husband in pursuing his passions and abilities. Applaud his efforts.
  • Likewise, tactfully discuss areas for improvement. Do not criticize, but suggest positive changes. Offer to assist your husband in his personal growth.

By demonstrating genuine interest in your husband’s positive attributes along with encouraging his self-development, you build emotional intimacy.

This affirmation of each other strengthens trust and connection. With a foundation of appreciation and support, you can work as a team to improve your sexual relationship.

Establish Positive Interactions

Research by acclaimed relationship expert John Gottman concludes that successful, satisfying relationships require a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative one.

To cultivate more positive interactions with your husband:

  • Compliment and express appreciation for his attributes and actions. Praise him verbally and affirm his value.
  • Create inside jokes and engage in playful banter. Inject humor and laughter into your interactions.
  • Initiate casual, affectionate touch like hugging, hand-holding, or massages without the pressure of sexual intimacy.
  • Do small, unexpected gestures to make your husband feel loved and supported, like bringing home his favorite treat or running an errand for him.
  • Verbalize agreement and validation when you concur with his opinions or ideas. Seek common ground.

By consciously increasing everyday positive interactions, you can improve communication, foster goodwill, and enhance your friendship. This foundation of appreciation and positivity creates an environment ripe for strengthening sexual and emotional intimacy.

Find Ways to Boost Emotional and Sexual Attraction

Establishing deeper emotional connections with your husband can significantly contribute to increased feelings of attraction and intimacy. You can cultivate emotional closeness through:

  • Expressing affection and love verbally. Share how much he means to you.
  • Initiating physical contact and togetherness outside the bedroom, like cuddling, holding hands, or giving massages.
  • Spending quality one-on-one time engaged in activities you both enjoy. Give him your full attention.
  • Doing acts of service and kindness to make his life easier, like cooking his favorite meal or running an errand.
  • Giving thoughtful, personalized gifts to show you understand and care about his interests.

Satisfying your husband’s needs for words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift-giving demonstrates your love and emotional investment in the relationship.

This strengthens intimacy and the overall bond between you, laying the groundwork for increased attraction.

Couples Therapy to Rekindle Love And Sexually Attraction Again


Couples therapy can be a valuable resource for rekindling love and reigniting attraction in a relationship.

Over time, relationships may experience challenges and phases where the initial spark and passion fade away. This can be due to various factors such as stress, communication issues, life changes, and everyday responsibilities.

Couples therapy provides a safe and supportive environment where both partners can express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns openly.

During couples therapy sessions, a trained therapist helps couples explore the underlying issues contributing to the decrease in attraction and emotional connection.

They guide partners in improving communication, understanding each other’s needs and desires, and finding ways to rebuild emotional intimacy.

The therapist may also teach techniques for emotional attunement, which involves empathetically turning toward one another during disagreements, rather than turning away.

Some couples may find that they need to rediscover each other, and therapy can facilitate this process.

Therapists may suggest going on dates, spending quality time together, and engaging in activities that promote bonding and emotional connection. Partners need to be curious and open to exploring each other’s interests and desires.

Therapy can also address any unresolved conflicts or resentments that may have built up over time.

By providing a safe space for open communication and working through past issues, couples can move forward with a renewed sense of understanding and closeness.

Conclusion

Being sexually attracted to your husband is not always sustainable long-term. However, with care, understanding, and marriage advice, it is possible to rebuild physical intimacy.

There are many potential causes of no sexual attraction including life stresses, health issues, and poor communication.

While it can be challenging when you’re not sexually attracted to your partner, your sexual relationship doesn’t have to end. With concerted effort, openness, and professional support, you can renew your marriage even without strong physical attraction.

Don’t lose hope. Focus on emotional connection, romance, and togetherness. Seek counseling to uncover root issues hampering attraction.

Implement strategies to improve communication with your husband. Restore passion by prioritizing intimacy and tenderness. With mutual care and compromise, you can reinvent your union.

Your marriage can survive and even thrive without intense attraction through rediscovering the foundation of friendship, respect, and partnership.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal not to lose sexual attraction to your husband?

It’s common for attraction to waver, especially in long-term relationships.

You’re no longer enthralled by the partner’s physical appearance. It’s also important to nourish emotional and intellectual connections. Maybe you’ve grown apart or feel unappreciated.

Don’t feel ashamed, but reflect on what changed. Be honest with yourself and your husband. With mutual understanding, you can often restore intimacy. Seek counseling to gain perspective. You’ve got this! Attraction needs care, but your love can persevere.

What makes a woman feel no sexual attraction to her husband?

You’re not attracted when romance fades after the “honeymoon” phase.

Life stresses, poor communication, unhealthy lifestyles causing weight changes, personal grooming neglect, or trauma can also affect attraction.

Emotional distance, constant bickering, or betrayal may diminish attraction. You may crave more affection. Differing sex drives, dysfunction, or pain also dampen desire.

Incompatibility, boredom, resentment, or disrespect could be issues too. Reflect on what changed and proactively address underlying problems together.

Can you stay married without physical or sexual attraction?

Absolutely, but it’s challenging.

The spark of physical attraction often diminishes, so cultivate friendship, respect, intimacy, and partnership. Nurture emotional connection through quality time and communication.

Focus on your husband’s positive traits.

Seek counseling to address problems constructively. Most importantly, approach issues with empathy, optimism, and effort. Prioritize pleasure and tenderness.

You can reinvent your union through understanding, compromise, and commitment to thoughtful relationship maintenance.

What makes a wife lose sexual attraction to her husband?

Life stresses and distractions like work or kids often draw focus. Weight changes, poor hygiene, or aging may affect your view of your husband’s appearance.

Constant arguing, disrespect, stagnancy, or boredom could cause emotional distance. Feeling unheard, underappreciated, neglected, or betrayed may breed resentment and disinterest.

Differing sex drives, dysfunction, trauma, or abuse history may be factors too. Illness, medications, exhaustion, or hormones like menopause can lower libido as well.

Reflect on changes and seek counseling to address problems constructively.

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